Confessions of a Control Girl (with Special Giveaway!)

In one of the malls near our house, there used to be a set of play cars and trucks that children could sit on and “ride”. If you put a few coins in each machine, the cars would slowly move back and forth, complete with the sounds of honking horns and engines revving. My kids used to love riding these cars. It was always humorous for me to watch my son turn the steering wheel with such delight.

At age two, he thought he was actually driving the vehicle. Unbeknownst to his little heart, he was going absolutely nowhere–but he thought he was taking the town by storm!

The image of my kids in those toy cars reminds me of how little control we really have over our lives. We think we’re in the driver’s seat of our own destiny. We take the keys, turn on the engine, adjust the front seat, then realize that we have left God in the rear view mirror–and we’re headed nowhere.

Have you ever been there?

It doesn’t take long to discover that we are not in control of our circumstances as the road unfolds before us. But there is One who holds every stroke of time in His hands. Our sovereign God is Lord over each turn on the rugged terrain of our paths. He is the One who is ultimately in control.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

Shannon Popkin in her book Control Girl: Lessons on Surrendering Your Burden of Control from Seven Women in the Bible, powerfully unveils the truth that we “take the wheel” in our lives by attempting to control the circumstances and people around us.

We offer unsolicited “suggestions” to our husbands when they don’t perform according to our standards. We shame our children into good behavior to avoid looking poorly in front of others. We argue, fuss and fume when things don’t go our way. All of these are ways we inadvertently (or very blatantly!) clamor for control. But as Shannon so poignantly reminds us,

“As we try to control things we can’t control, we tend to lose control of the one thing we can–ourselves.”When we try to control the things we CAN'T, we lose control what we CAN--ourselves. Click To Tweet

So painfully true! As much as I hate to admit it, I have been guilty of losing my cool as I try to grasp for control.

Our desperate attempts to control the people and circumstances in our lives reveal the stark lack of trust we have in the Sovereignty of God. If our God can spin the world into orbit and hand-pick the stars in the universe, can’t we surely trust Him to sustain our every step?

This timely resource reveals the control girl within us all through seven women of the Bible. When I read the individual stories of these women, I see my own control girl tendencies within the pages of my story.

Like how Eve sought to control her destiny through one bite of forbidden fruit. Or how Sarah took matters into her own hands by seeking an heir through the fruit of another woman’s womb.

But instead of living as a crazed control girl, Shannon teaches us how to be a surrendered, sold-out Jesus girl.

And the difference is life-changing.

A Control girl tightly clenches her fist to fight for control.

A Jesus girl releases her hold of control and clutches tightly to the Lord.

A Control girl desperately takes matters into her own hands.

A Jesus girl takes her hands and places them in the hands of her Savior.

Learn how to turn from a control girl to a Jesus girl!

So let’s collectively resolve to abandon our controlling ways and trust the sovereignty and goodness of our great God!

Shannon has graciously agreed to provide a copy of Control Girl, Reflections on Surrender coloring book, and one set of meditation cards as part of a special giveaway!

Join us for a special giveaway!! #Controlgirl Click To Tweet

To participate in this giveaway to receive one of these amazing resources, simply add a comment below. What is one area in life that you desire to give over in surrender to God?

Together, we are all Jesus girls in Christ!

This giveaway will end Thursday, September 14.

Linking with these lovely bloggers here!

A powerful book on surrendering control!

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45 thoughts on “Confessions of a Control Girl (with Special Giveaway!)

  1. I need to surrender my pain to God. Grief hurts and is heavy, but God doesn’t need me to carry it alone. I wanna just fix it, but I can’t. Thanks for the great reminder that we weren’t meant to live this alone.

    1. You are so right. Grief is so heavy, and surrendering our hurt to the Lord is definitely a process. Thanks so much for sharing! I pray that as you release your pain, God will comfort your heart and give you a peace that transcends your understanding. Blessings to you, sister!

    2. V, thanks for sharing this. You are SO right. God does not intend you to carry the burden of trying to fix what is wrong and evil and painful. It’s too heavy! I think you’ll especially love the chapters in Control Girl about Hagar and Leah–who both had to deal with painful situations that were out of their control. Yet God leaned into each of their stories and showed that in the midst of it all, He was still in control – writing a beautiful story that was/is all about Him!

  2. WOW I can see how this book would resonate with so many women. I think we all struggle with the need to control but I love the concept of embracing being a Jesus girl! hope to win this powerful giveaway. Stopping by from Salt and Light. {ps..so glad I did, to enter this giveaway} Pinned to share with our Living Our Priorities community.

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by, Timberly! I am so thankful that we can move from a “control girl” to a Jesus girl, and thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

  3. I need to surrender my worry and trying to control that bad things won’t happen if I plan out everything and try to fix everything. I need to let God will give me that peace.
    Thank you

    1. This is such a big one for me too! I constantly try to plan my life! Praying that you find peace as you continue to trust in our wonderful Savior! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    2. Sue Lori, you are so right, here. Trying to prevent bad things from happening only turns us into worrisome, fretting, panicky, defensive, fearful women. God invites us to lay down the burden of control and be still, knowing that HE is God (not us!). If you have a chance to pick up Control Girl, I think you’ll really enjoy it. 🙂

      Shannon
      Shannon Pokin recently posted…The Father Who Eliminates ShameMy Profile

    1. Thanks for sharing, Lori! I struggle with this one too. Praise God that He is in control, and that we can trust our future in His hands!

    2. Yes! So true, Lorie. The future is completely out of our control, yet we tend to heap the burden of trying to control it right back onto our shoulders. If you get a chance to read Control Girl, I think you’ll find lots of encouragement in this process! 🙂

  4. I struggle greatly with the. We’d to control situations, people and things around me. I especially like to allow myself to think I can control my and my family’s future. It comes from a desire to ensure that my life is not subject to the chaos I experienced as a child.

    The mediation cards would come in handy!

    1. I completely understand, Julia. We don’t want our family to suffer the way we did. It is difficult sometimes to remember that God loves our family more than we do! Praise God that He is in control of our family’s future. I have to continually remind myself that He has plans for our good, and NOT for our destruction! Thanks for sharing, and blessings to you!

    2. Julia, you’re so wise to see this in yourself. I refer in the book to always trying to create a “Happy Ending” and feeling like it’s all up to me… Sounds like you can relate. 🙂 And yes- when things in the past have seemed out of control we do try to compensate. I’m hoping that you’ll find lots of truth in this book (and the meditation cards!) to help cultivate a heart of surrender, which leads to the peace, security, and hope we’re looking for when we try to take control.

      Much love, Shannon

    1. Valerie, I’ve actually come to be thankful for this very thing. My marriage has pressed me, more than anything else, to relinquish control and to cultivate a heart of surrender. Hope you are able to read Control Girl! Sounds like you’ll be able to relate to a lot of my struggles. 🙂

      Warmly, Shannon
      Shannon Pokin recently posted…The Father Who Eliminates ShameMy Profile

  5. Loved your post Christin! I related to your words much too well. I pictured myself spinning the steering wheel of the car in an attempt to move forward while actually, I’m spinning my wheels! I will definitely check out Shannon’s book and I love learning from the women of the Bible. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Wow Christin! I’ve never heard of this book and now really can’t wait to read it! The quote you shared is SO powerful. Amen. Thank you for sharing this and the giveaway. One area of my life I particularly need to let go of my “control” of is taking next steps. It’s so hard for me to know there is something changing but not know what it is! That affects how I spend my time, how I talk to my husband, how I relate to those around me when making plans, and certainly how I trust God!

    1. Bethany, I can totally relate! I really want to know what the next steps are for me and my family as well, and trusting God with the unknown has definitely been something I am continually surrendering to Him. Thanks for sharing–this book is a must read for women!!

    2. Hey, Bethany! Thanks so much for checking out Control Girl. I think it’s so interesting that we struggle so to relinquish control over the future and what “next steps” to take when…. really… how much control over the future do we actually have? We have influence, yes. But control? No. So thankful, though, that God does!! Glad to connect with you here, Bethany!
      Shannon Pokin recently posted…The Father Who Eliminates ShameMy Profile

  7. I need to surrender my social media life. I feel like all of it with blogging is extremely overwhelming. I never know what to do or where to focus or whether just to disconnect all together. I know He has given me a distinct message. I just have no idea how exactly He wants me to spread it, but I need guidance…lots and lots of TLC

    1. Thanks so much for sharing, Brittany! As a fellow blogger (and sister in Christ!), the social media world can be VERY overwhelming. There have been times when I’ve had to just unplug for awhile and get refocused. I pray that as you surrender your ministry to the Lord, he will reveal the next steps on your journey! Blessings to you!! 🙂

  8. Such a great post. I have had control issues too. I have felt that desperation with adults and children, I can’t make people believe what Jesus wants for them, the best and not to settle. Thanks for the prayers, storms from Irma are pounding us here in Ga. but I’m glad Floridians listened and came up. God bless and may we all lose control to the Lord in order to keep our self control.

    1. Rebecca, you probably have a much better perspective down in GA right now (as opposed to us MI girls) of how little control we actually have! I can relate to your struggle of wanting people to embrace truth instead of lies. I think you’ll especially enjoy a few of the lessons in the chapter on Hagar, which focus on this very thing. Blessings to you. May you trust in Jesus during each of your storms–physical and figurative.

      Love, Shannon
      Shannon Pokin recently posted…The Father Who Eliminates ShameMy Profile

  9. This was a great post! As I was reading it, I felt that I resonated with many of the examples you listed, but as I sit here to think of what I must surrender, I draw a blank! You’ve opened my eyes to see that yes, there is something there worth giving to God, and it was something I never put much attention to! Something for me to chew on this week! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by, Selina! The book opened my eyes to so many things that I never considered before either. Hope you have a great week! 🙂

    2. Hey, Selina! You are not alone in drawing a “blank”!! In the book, I talked about how we tend to think of surrender in the category of big, life altering situations. But Jesus wants us to surrender in the small moments too– like what we eat, watch, say, think about, etc. If you get a chance to read Control Girl, I sure hope it’s an encouragement to you, friend. 🙂

      Shannon
      Shannon Pokin recently posted…The Father Who Eliminates ShameMy Profile

  10. I need to give God my fear of ridicule and rejection. Stop worrying about what people will say or think about me. It only matters what God thinks!

    1. Julie, this is one that I have struggled with for years. I have to continually surrender that same worry. Ultimately, only what God thinks truly matters! Thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

  11. Christin, This is so good and so needed! Surrender is the antithesis of control. I have definitely been a “control girl” however over the last few years, God has loosened my grip. Thank you for this reminder to keep letting go and giving all to God. Be blessed!

  12. Hey sweet friend! It’s so good to stop back by your site ♥ I’ve missed being here and missed connecting! Although still so thankful for meeting you IRL at SpeakUp! What a great book to share here! Ugh, I know I have struggled again and again with control. Goodness, will I ever just give Jesus the wheel? 😉 This is one I need to purchase, for sure!

    Thank you so much for joining me again at #MomentsofHope ♥ You are a ginormous blessing!

    Hugs,
    Lori

  13. Oh I need to read this book! It only takes something like a hurricane to bring this truth home that we really have no control and must reconcile this truth in order to place all of our faith in the One who has all control. Just read this post shortly after I got power and internet back, and grateful to be here receiving this encouragement!

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